The PGA World Heavyweight Championship is the highest ranking championship in PGA. It is currently held by Raijin Narukami.
Balk Ruby Promotions Crown Title History[]
Wrestlers: | Reigns: | Date: | Location: | Days Held: | Notes: |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Antonio Strozzi | 1 | February 7, 1973 | Casablanca, Morocco | 813 | Defeated James "The Lowlander" MacBeth in a make believe 16-man tournament in Morocco to become the first holder of the Balk Ruby Promotions Crown. |
"Cosmonaught" Buzz Ivanov | 1 | May 10, 1975 | Columbus, Ohio | 15 | Defeats Strozzi with a 22-minute bear hug to be crowned the first domestic champion. |
Chico Mendoza | 1 | May 24, 1975 | Ann Arbor, Michigan | 200 | Defeated Ivanov with a dropkick to win the Crown in 18 seconds. |
Ron Polack | 1 | December 9, 1975 | Independence, Ohio | 12 | Defeated Mendoza by throwing paint in his eyes when the referee wasn't looking. |
Antonio Strozzi | 2 | December 20, 1975 | Kalamazoo, Michigan | 750 | Polack threw a suplex at Strozzi, so Strozzi pulled the pin and threw it right back at him. |
Magnificent Adrian Rogers | 1 | January 7, 1978 | Cleveland, Ohio | 323 | Defeated Strozzi by escaping a steel cage. This was a steel cage match. |
Ben Peterson | 1 | November 25, 1978 | Detroit, Michigan | 785 | Defeated Rogers by giving him liver cancer with an abdominal stretch. |
Father Abraham | 1† | January 17, 1981 | Tijuana, Mexico | 1 | Defeated Peterson during an "overseas" tour of Mexico. |
Ben Peterson | 1(2)† | January 18, 1981 | Tijuana, Mexico | 805 | Peterson needed to go home, and simply took the Crown with him when he left. According to official championship history, Abraham's reign is unofficial and Peterson's reign lasted from November 25, 1978 to April 2, 1983 uninterrupted. |
Nanook of the Norse | 1 | April 2, 1983 | Cleveland, Ohio | 29 | Defeated Peterson with the Walrus Clutch when Peterson's brother John threw in the towel. |
Cat Gunsmith | 1 | April 30, 1983 | Pontiac, Michigan | 1052 | Defeated Nanook with the Double Gun Crisis. "Cat Gats Fever" begins. |
Antoine Cetacea | 1 | March 16, 1986 | Baltimore, Maryland | 8 | Defeats Gunsmith via KO after tearing off the champion's beloved gold necklace. |
Cat Gunsmith | 2 | March 23, 1986 | Washington, D.C. | - | Defeats Cetacea at This Wrestling Event. The Balk Ruby Promotions Crown is made into a title belt, renamed the PGA World Heavyweight Wrestling Championship, and awarded to Gunsmith after he defeats Cetacea in the rubber match at Crowning A Champion's Waist '86. |
PGA World Heavyweight Wrestling Championship History[]
Wrestlers: | Reigns: | Date: | Location: | Days Held: | Notes: |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Cat Gunsmith | - | - | - | 666 | - |
Antoine Cetacea | 2 | January 17, 1988 | St. Louis, Missouri | 4 | Defeated Gunsmith via fast count from evil twin of scheduled referee at the first Grande Royale pay-per-view event. |
"Wealthy European" Rich Frenchman | 1† | January 20, 1988 | Des Moines, Iowa | - | Frenchman purchased the title from Cetacea on PGA Primetime Wednesday! for $10,000 and a gross of Tarte au Fromage. |
Vacated | - | January 20, 1988 | Des Moines, Iowa | 0 | At the end of the night, Balk Ruby nullified the purchase, vacating the title. |
"Ultramasculine" Andy Frantic | 1 | March 5, 1988 | Dallas, Texas | 393 | Defeated Rich Frenchman in the finals of an unbearable one-night, 64-man title tournament at Crowning A Champion's Waist '88. |
Cat Gunsmith | 3 | April 1, 1989 | Baltimore, Maryland | 498 | Gunsmith won the championship, the heart of Frantic's girlfriend Eleanor, and the respect of Frantic's Mother and Father at Crowning A Champion's Waist '89. |
Living Steroid | 1 | August 11, 1990 | Phoenix, Arizona | 107 | Defeated Gunsmith in a 20-minute match in which Steroid never stopped running once at the first Remain Alive pay-per-view event. |
Rear Admiral Remus | 1 | November 25, 1990 | Oklahoma City, Oklahoma | 141 | The controversial "Gay General" won the title after Living Steroid failed to pass a wellness test. |
Cat Gunsmith | 4 | April 14, 1991 | Cleveland, Ohio | 925 | Gunsmith choked out Remus with his pink flag, winning the championship and forcing Remus to admit that gayness is a choice in a no-DQ match at Crowning A Champion's Waist '91. |
Jiang Shi | 1 | October 24, 1993 | Dallas, Texas | 3 | Defeated Gunsmith after locking him in an airtight burial coffin without food or water for over a month at Autumnal Equi-Knocks IV. |
Cat Gunsmith | 5 | October 26, 1993 | Fort Worth, Texas | 2 | Insisting that he kicked out before the three count at Autumnal Equi-Knocks IV, a "make up" pay-per-view was held two days later. |
Vacated | - | October 27, 1993 | Fort Worth, Texas | 0 | Balk Ruby vacated the title after announcing he doesn't have the money to put on a pay-per-view every two days. |
Vic Panache | 1 | December 12, 1993 | Charlotte, North Carolina | 36 | Territorial-outsider Panache was awarded the title via forfeit after he used an archaic form of photoshop to convince Andy Frantic that Eleanor had posed semi-nude for Vogue magazine. |
Ultramasculine Andy Frantic | 2 | January 16, 1994 | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | 71 | Defeated Panache at Grande Royale '94. After the match, he announced his intentions to marry, beat, and divorce Eleanor. |
Vic Panache | 2 | March 27, 1994 | Orlando, Florida | 50 | Defeated Frantic at Crowning A Champion's Waist '94. Frantic left PGA, rumored to have given unauthorized candies to a 13-year old Pearl Ruby. |
Will Stone | 1 | May 15, 1994 | Windsor, Ontario, Canada | 162 | Defeated Panache at a live event in an effort to improve house show attendance. This show also innovated the concept of firing unwrapped hot dogs from a powerful gun. |
Apolima Maximus | 1 | October 23, 1994 | San Diego, California | 148 | Defeated Stone aboard the USS Missouri in an effort to improve attendance for shows held in the middle of the ocean on battleships. |
Cat Gunsmith | 6 | March 19, 1995 | Chicago, Illinois | - | Defeated Maximus in a 4-second unscheduled match after Will Stone had tried his best for over 65 minutes. |
Some Rad Ass Wrestling "Da Strap"[]
Wrestlers: | Reigns: | Date: | Location: | Days Held: | Notes: |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Cat Gunsmith | - | - | - | 18 | - |
Vacated | - | April 5, 1995 | Cleveland, Ohio | 0 | B. Armstrong Ruby institutes the era of Some Rad Ass Wrestling, stripping Gunsmith of the title, spraypainting it, renaming it "Da Strap," then immediately throwing it in the garbage. |
Flower | 1 | April 19, 1995 | Lansing, Michigan | 7 | The docile giant found Da Strap while fishing through a Michigan-area dumpster. A nearby referee ruled that Flower was now the champion, having "thoroughly defeated the dumpster." |
Hillbilly Clown | 1† | April 26, 1995 | St. Paul, Minnesota | 40 | Became enraged when Cat Gunsmith bodyslammed his beloved stuffed dog Rufus, ripping off and pinning his own clothes to defeat himself and become new same champion. |
Cat Gunsmith | 7 | June 4, 1995 | Kansas City, Missouri | 81 | Defeated Hillbilly Clown with a Double Gun Crisis from a trampoline into the ring at Kick Your House's Dick '95 |
Hillbilly Clown | 2† | August 23, 1995 | Phoenix, Arizona | 64 | Defeated Gunsmith by countout. After Gunsmith had left the arena, B. Armstrong Ruby announced that the title could change hands via countout, awarding Da Strap to Clown. |
Jeff "Jeffy" Strozzi | 1 | October 25, 1995 | El Paso, Texas | 4 | Antonio Strozzi's lousy son defeated Clown in his first professional match when Gunsmith struck clown with an entire flagpole. |
Jiang Shi | 2 | October 29, 1995 | Amarillo, Texas | 127 | Defeated Strozzi at Autumnal Equi-Knocks VII by chokeslamming him into a kiln, then bulldozing Strozzi and the kiln rubble into a larger, wood burning stove. |
Cat Gunsmith | 8 | March 3, 1996 | Cincinnati, Ohio | 127 | Defeated Jiang Shi and Hillbilly Clown in a Da Strap on a Pole Three Way Dance at Crowning A Champion's Waist '96. |
Pulp | 1 | July 7, 1996 | Minneapolis, Minnesota | 39 | Defeated Gunsmith in a trampoline on a pole match. |
B. Armstrong Ruby | 1 | August 14, 1996 | Lanford, Illinois | 26 | Defeated Pulp, Gunsmith, and Hillbilly Clown in a pole on a pole match on PGA Primetime Wednesday! |
Pulp | 2 | September 8, 1996 | Mentor, Ohio | 78 | Defeated Ruby, Gunsmith, Clown, Jiang Shi, Will Stone, and The Panamanian Assassin in a Poles, Scaffolds, and Chains Match at Bloodlinez: Beware of The Dog. |
Cat Gunsmith | 9 | November 24, 1996 | Rahway, New Jersey | 3 | Defeated 24 men in a Case Pack Challenge Match at November To Flippin' Forget '96. |
Vacated | - | November 27, 1996 | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | 0 | B. Armstrong Ruby vacates the title after revealing that Pulp, the 22nd man Gunsmith pinned during the Case Pack Challenge, had his foot under the rope. |
Ben Peterson | 2(3)† | December 11, 1996 | Richmond, Virginia | 34 | Came out of 15-year retirement to defeat Will Stone and win the vacated title. Peterson's new gimmick was that of a heavily-concussed former wrestler who could not let go of his past glories and wanted to kill everyone in his family. |
Masked Man | 1† | January 13, 1997 | Orangeburg, South Carolina | - | Defeated Peterson at a house show. The angle was quietly dropped, and the identity of the masked man was never revealed. |
Vacated | - | January 13, 1997 | Orangeburg, South Carolina | - | Official records show the title being vacated here, as Da Strap was not mentioned on PGA programming for over three months. |
B. Armstrong Ruby | 2 | April 23, 1997 | Da Radical Zone | 131 | Ruby defeated his father, Balk Ruby, with a steel chair to the groin. After the match, he called out his sister, Pearl, for a match. When she no-showed, he called her a "bitch" and named himself the champion of his family. |
Vic Panache | 3 | August 31, 1997 | Da Radical Zone | 32 | Defeated Ruby in a steel cage match at Bloodlinez: 4 Whom Da Bell Tolz. After the match, Ruby pantsed Panache and shaved his signature feathered hair into a condescending rat tail. |
"Porkchop" Miller |
1 |
October 1, 1997 |
Da Radical Zone | 7 |
Defeated Panache after interference from B. Armstrong Ruby. Panache was then doused in gasoline and tossed into the Gulf of Mexico. |
Cat Gunsmith | 10 | October 8, 1997 | Da Radical Zone | 173 | Defeated Miller during a Primetime Wednesday! preshow and began the show by announcing himself as champion. |
(Herschel) Heinemann | 1 | March 29, 1998 | Da Radical Zone | 344 | Over 80,000 spectators and almost 900 paying guests "Got Be-Heinemann" as he defeated Gunsmith using his running tackle at Crowning A Champion's Waist '98. This brought Heinemann's unbeaten streak to 657-0 [citation needed] |
"The Missile" Kevin Krapf |
1 |
March 7, 1999 |
Da Radical Zone | 109 | Defeated Heinemann by shocking him with a defribrillator and stabbing him with the Jaws of Life, ending his 999-0 [citation needed] winning streak at Crowning A Champion's Waist X-99. |
Heinemann | 2 | June 23, 1999 | Da Radical Zone | 89 | Defeated Krapf in a rematch at Kick Your House's Dick: Dogg Daze, but he had lost before so nobody really cared. |
Jiang Shi |
3 |
September 19, 1999 | Da Radical Zone | 92 | Defeated Heinemann in a Buried Dead match at Bloodlinez: Ultimate Cockblock. |
Hillbilly Clown | 3† | December 19, 1999 | New York City, New York | 50 | Defeated Jiang Shi when Shi accidentally walked backwards off of a ledge in Times Square, allowing Hillbilly Clown to hang on a helicopter, drop to the street below, flop around, then make a lateral press. |
Will Stone | 2 | February 6, 2000 | Da Radical Zone | 39 |
Defeated Clown by countout in a steel cage match at PGA Can't Get Out and was awarded Da Strap. Championships not changing hands via countout is never mentioned. |
Pulp | 3 | March 15, 2000 | Da Radical Zone | 19 | Defeated Cat Gunsmith in the main-event of the free, televised Crowning A Champion's Waist 2K and is named the new champion despite Stone competing earlier in the night. |
Cat Gunsmith | 11 |
April 2, 2000 | Da Radical Zone | 130 | Defeated Pulp in a Hell Cage match at PGA: Get Ya Heat Back 2K. |
Ultramasculine Andy Frantic | 3 |
August 9, 2000 | Da Radical Zone | 106 | Returned to PGA as Gunsmith's mystery tag team partner in a United States Tag Team Championship match against The Wrangler Boyz. Frantic pinned Gunsmith to become the new champion. |
Cat Gunsmith | 12 | November 22, 2000 | Da Radical Zone | Defeated Frantic on Primetime Wednesday! when an older, leather-clad Eleanor hit Frantic in the back of the head with a lady's loafer. | |
Vacated | - | November 22, 2000 | Da Radical Zone | 0 | Da Strap is retroactively vacated due to Eleanor dying of a painkiller overdose before a score-settling mixed tag team match at NTFF2K. |
Will Stone | 3 | March 25, 2001 | Da Radical Zone | 102 | With every other established main-eventer injured or away filming guest spots on Pacific Blue, Stone defeats Porkchop Miller in the finals of a championship tournament at PGA: Sloth. |
Pulp |
4 |
July 4, 2001 | Da Radical Zone | 64 | Defeats the evil foreigner Stone, cementing an anti-hero face run involving lots of breakdancing, vehicular manslaughter, and a "Heart Pulpitations" catchphrase. |
Rick Aomori-Jones | 1 | September 5, 2001 | Da Radical Zone | 14 | Defeats Pulp using his new finisher, the "Exploding Building Suplex." |
Cat Gunsmith | 13 |
September 19, 2001 | Da Radical Zone | - | Returns from filming the feature length motion picture "Trouble in Acapulco" to heal America, defeating Aomori-Jones and crying profusely about our flag. |
Post-Unionization Title History[]
Wrestlers: | Reigns: | Date: | Location: | Days Held: | Notes: |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Ben Crane | 1 | March 18, 2009 | Naples, Florida | 91 | Defeated Rusty Cooledge to win the Crowning a Champion's Waist Tournament; title vacated due to injury June 17, 2009 |
vacant | June 17, 2009 | Algona, Iowa | 58 | Title vacated after Crane suffers arm injury | |
Helm Konrad | 1 | August 14, 2009 | Houston, Texas | 54 | Defeated King Falcon for the vacated title at PGA: Remain Alive |
King Falcon | 1 | October 7, 2009 | Mexico City, Mexico | 211 | Defeated Helm Konrad at Cargado Completamente |
Lester Balaam Jackson | 1 | May 5, 2010 | Chattanooga, Tennessee | 80 | Defeated King Falcon with help from Stevens N. Stevens and Ben Crane in a career-threatening match on the 50th episode of PGA Primetime Wednesday! |
Slyclops IX | 1 | July 23, 2010 | Honolulu, Hawaii | 129 | Defeated Jackson in an Anything Goes Match at Grandest Stage of The Mall 2 |
Ben Crane | 2 | November 28, 2010 | Panama City, Panama | 134 | Defeated Slyclops at Cargado Completamente 2010 |
Helm Konrad | 2 | April 11, 2011 | Cleveland, Ohio | 121 | Defeated Crane and Slyclops IX in a triple threat match at Crowning a Champion's Waist '11 |
Raijin Narukami | 1 | August 10, 2011 | Las Vegas, Nevada | Reigning | Defeated Konrad at Remain Alive 2011 |